The long birth
It seems I have to keep doing this.
To whatever occasional visitors this site might have had, this whole affair could seem like a whole bunch of those new year’s resolution that one quits in a couple of week, and quite frankly, one some occasions it was. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be the story of unfinished ideas and schedule trouble.
It can be more. It can be better.
The idea of having a personal site in this format was not even mine, and I am quite the novice (aka real bad) at online self-management. IRL self-managemente is not my top skill either, but this tends to be on a whole new level.
Nonetheless, I am determined to take the challenge, and yet again push against my limits, and get this site up and running, ending the long birth, and starting the infancy, for the life yet to come. One day, I hope I can look back at this and smile, thinking of how far I’ve come.
Even as I write, I have a lot of doubts. Of all places, the Internet is quite the troublesome one to put out this kind of message on. I’m basically declaring to the world, or the portion of it who would be interested, that I was and still am lacking in some “business” “productivity”-related skill, in a world where far too much importance is placed on how you fit in the “job market”.
I am saying out loud: “Yes, I can be a disorganized mess of a person, I often am, and I definitely started way more things than I was able, or sometimes even willing to finish.”
At a time in my life when I find myself on the doors of said “job market”, working to piece together the starting steps of a career, this might seem dangerous. Some could say it’s like placing a “don’t hire me, I’m not reliable” sign on one’s own back. I myself have that feeling, sometimes.
But you know what? I still think it’s worth it. I still dare.
I need to do this, for myself and all I want to stand for. I need to openly take the challenge once again.
And besides, admitting one’s own shortcomings and fight to get over them, however long and troublesome it maybe, is an asset in and of itself. Everyone knows how to be his own worst enemy.
What you need to believe, and to prove to yourself and everyone, is that you can beat yourself.
That’s what I plan to do. Won’t be easy.
I’m quite the fearsome opponent.
But that’s through on both sides.
Hopefully… the Long Birth is over.